Sleep eludes me yet again. Guess its time to code.

I haven't written much. My apologies. I swear I am actually writing lots. Just not publicly on the internet. I tend to use googledocs and just keep a journal. I suppose I might as well just use this. Honestly, the only thing really preventing me is I doubt anyone reads this so whats the point. In fact I am quite certain of it. You see the problem is I am working right now on tackling the issue of feeding the RSS directly into the body of my actual website. That has quite a bit of traffic. Kind of proud of that little ongoing experiment (meaning: exeivot.com).

More to come as I wrestle with this issue tonight because once again despite being tired and despite having to work 10 hours tomorrow for my day job and probably another 4 when I get home prepping myself for an interview I cannot sleep. So what do I do? Well I will tell you: freelance projects, learning code, tweaking my website and maybe some Battlestar Galactica in the intereum for good measure. What can I say, I am a nerd at heart. I may have played sports and everything most normies do but deep down I cannot deny that I am a raging dork.

Now back to the lab. Hopefully I can get this RSS to cooperate within the hour.

Yikes!

So hard to keep updated on this thing when I'm so busy...

Okay so... I think I need to make this a bi-weekly post or something cuz everyday is so difficult. Maybe I'll shoot for at least one a week and if I have time I'll post more things.

This week:

Went to Body Worlds 2. It was awesome. Got so much reasearch done on the human body and more importantly the mind and sense of self. Unfortunately they didn't allow pictures while in the exhibit.... Lame I know.

Also did a ton of work on my site. I still want to add this blog in via RSS to the homepage.... Not sure how to accomplish that. Few more design flaws left to remedy. Started adding content etc.
Had a few minor setbacks... I accidentally undid all my work with one click but thank god I know what I'm doing with CSS a bit better now and had all my images backed up. didnt take long to redo everything.

Also worked everyday last week and will probably do the same this week... Multiple jobs. Multiple hours a day. Not just the 9-5... double yikes.

Hmm anything new? No my dog Mandy is still as clumsy as ever and crashed into and off of a table the other day....

blah. must keep working.
Dude i still havent made it to the bank bc of work its always closed when i get out. i have multiple paychecks building up.

okay okay. what else is new.
I saw the man from earth. really cool and philosophical etc.

i especially liked the discussion of time and how its immeasurable etc.

k back to work.

1.12.2010. Recap

1 [Artwork of the Day]:
Lots of random website and design stuff. Been experimenting around in illustrator and PS teaching myself stuff from various tutorials.















2 [Thoughts and Reflections]:

So I am going to recap the changes I've noticed thus far. I know I've been putting off posting but its difficult to get into the ritual of everynight posting when theres so much stuff to do.

First off this is a placeholder while I get the website up and running (thats the fun part).
Taking a while because I am reverse engineering some existing sites (or parts of them) as well as producing all the content and customizing the layout and teaching myself how to do all of this.... (CSS mostly because I've never learned it but I'm picking up bits and pieces as I go along)

So I've noticed my skillset is expanding daily as I continue to teach myself various techniques via web tutorials. Also my list of resources is expanding exponetially as I continue to encounter new problems with AI, PS and Dreamweaver and subsequently do some research and experimentation. So I'm becoming a more experienced designer...

(I'll label it 'self taught' but I don't really think there is any other way to learn. You have to try something, fail and fail again until you work it out on your own to truly understand it. Otherwise you're just following along as the teacher tells you what info to regurgetate on the test and ultimately forget within weeks. This gives me a nice little segway into the american school system... It is awful. Having both my parents as teachers as well as being a student my entire life has given me plenty of insight into the flaws in the system. The east has it right and their standardized tests prove it: Test first; Fail; Then learn from mistakes. If we had any sense in this country we would start with a complete overhaul of the public school system. Stop putting the kids on medication and special needs and force them to learn how to really work and earn something. Tangent. Forgive me. Moving on.)

Right so skillset improving, resources and tutorials expanding and finally I'm being a bit more healthy.... Weird I know, but something about the routine of a 9-5 really works for me. It even gives me time in the evening to work on my own projects so in actuality I'd say I work on various projects for a number of different parties including myself from 9am to about 10 or 11pm (with a number of breaks for food and other necessities). Seems like an excessive work day but I'm finally doing things I enjoy working on and not laboring excessively on subjects which don't fascinate me.

(Not that I regret the hours I spent contemplating and memorizing physics equations, but I feel that the theory was just more interesting than the raw memorization... I mean in todays modern world all I need is google to tell me a formula so why should I be forced to spend days flipping through flash cards when the theories are more applicable to real life scenarios. Understanding how friction works as opposed to the formula helps much more when driving in snowy conditions.)

So I'm healthier and my sleep cycle is much more normal than it has been since college started. I used to be up around 9 am on MWF followed by a nap from 11-1 and than I'd be up til 2-4am until I crashed. So unhealthy. Now I go to bed at like midnight and wake up at 7:50am on the nose. I am still kind of tired but I feel able to cope because the physical demands aren't excessive outside of a basic daily exercise routine. On top of that being at home is much better for my diet because my wonderful mother loves to cook and keep the fridge stocked. Not only that but she occasionally shows me a kitchen trick or two which improves my abilities to survive on my own eventually. Also she cooks healthy foods, not the kind of crap usually found in the confines of a college campus. Some people I know have the worst diets I've even heard of down at school.


3 [Photo-Op]:
This has been the hardest part to do... I always have my camera on me but I go into work bright an early and don't get out until dark... Try finding something new and interesting to take pictures of in the same three locations: Home, Car, Office...

Saw the last of the apples from our tree. Rotten and half consumed, bloodied and bruised but still hanging on the branch refusing to surrender to winter's icy claws.

Also saw the employee of the month parking spots at whole foods... They were completely blocked in with snow from the plows. Guess they weren't very good employees...

4 [Something I learned]:
Lots of tutorials in PS, AI and Dreamweaver site things.

5 [Learning Link of the Day]:
I think I am going to change this section to make it a tutorial which I follow and show the end result.

Anyways here are some sites which have good tutorials:
http://vectips.com/
http://www.blog.spoongraphics.co.uk/
http://line25.com/
http://www.vectorials.com/ (Links to many other sites from here)

Heres a design site I need to look at later:
http://dirt2.com/

6 [Things I did for Others]:
To be continued.

7 [Things I did for Myself]:
Stocked up of vector resources and fonts.... Epic.

1.08.2010. FridayFinally.

1 [Artwork of the Day]:
Did lotsa cool things for the website. Heres a sample.


2 [Thoughts and Reflections]:
Not feeling very philisophical today I'm going to skip this. I've really just been researching stuff for webdesign...

3 [Photo-Op]:
At 830 am I woke up and it had snowed so I went outside and snapped a quick pic of the lake in the back yard which had some steam / fog rising in the morning sunlight. Kinda natury and cool i thought.

4 [Something I learned]:
Oh man. lots of lots of tutorials. I emailed myself like 35 1/2 links to review later so ill get to that eventually.

5 [Learning Link of the Day]:
Like i said... 35 1/2 links today. not gonna post them all.

6 [Things I did for Others]:
going out to hang with friends tonight. (for me as well)
I plan on supplying the canned social lubricant so that.

7 [Things I did for Myself]:
See above.
also learned a toooooon of stuff for PS and Illustrator.

1.07.2010. Day 03-Exhaustion

1 [Artwork of the Day]:


Did an about me page for the website. Its like a cool typography art thing. Idk, just messing around in illustrator per-usual.
Did a ton of reverse engineering on a website adding in designs and whatnot.... its gettting there.



New website bg.




2 [Thoughts and Reflections]:

wrote a half an essay on what i was thinking. Still a work in progress but heres where i got so far:
Sources:
1:
http://www.daylightatheism.org/2007/04/milgram-experiment.html

2:
https://docs.google.com/fileview?id=0B5uDdx1Ld0ORZTc3MjdiNzEtMTZlMC00ZmFiLWI5MTEtOGIwNTU1Y2E0Yjky&hl=en

3:
http://docs.google.com/fileview?id=0B5uDdx1Ld0ORYTNjMjk4YmYtMDIzZS00NmVjLTlhMTItYmU5YzRkMzZiNWE2&hl=en

4:
http://www.scu.edu/ethics/practicing/decision/conscience.html

5:
http://www.cjgsu.net/initiatives/what_makes_a_terrorist.htm

6:
The Boy In The Stripped Pajamas (2008)

7:
Schindler's List (1993)

8:
BBC Horizon - How Violent Are You?

9:
Hooligans (2005)

10:
Evolutionary Psychology and Violence edited by Richard W. Bloom and Nancy Dess. Praeger: Westport, CT and London, 2003
https://docs.google.com/fileview?id=0B5uDdx1Ld0ORZGNlMDI4NzMtMDdkZC00YzU3LWEzNTEtNWQxNzQ2ZGFmZWMx&hl=en

11:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/199403/violence-has-home-address

12:
Wikipedia: General Info
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nucleus_accumbens
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milgram_experiment

Essay:
Violence. Spurred on by our innate evolutionary desires to survive. Necessitated by the harsh conditions our ancestors had to overcome including large predatory animals and hunting for food, but the most astounding aspect of violence in human nature is how we are more prevalent to be violent towards other humans. This comes from any number of evolutionary aspects including competition for resources, defending a territory and mating privileges.

Over the many years of human development we have come to control and organize our violent actions, Weaponry, Wars and Conquest. Some associate violence with glory and honor. Others it is the ultimate evil associated with infringement on the rights of others (rape, murder, etc.). Ironically enough the punishment for violence is violence.

Mankind has always fought and battled, killed, maimed and slaughtered. "We are appauled and fascinated by [our] violence" (8) It is a very natural part of our evolution. Now that we, more or less, understand the vastness of the universe could we stop being so socio-masochistic and start directing our violence away from each other and towards some of the more dangerous elements of the universe?

I don't know if this is possible. We will always have underlying desires to inflict pain on one another. Whether a spurned advance of a potential partner or some other mistreatment. We can always justify violent action to ourselves because of the complex chemical balance which comprises emotion in our mind. To sedate and control these desires would make us something less than human. Ultimately it is up to each individual to control his or her own violent urges.

So deep within each of us, even the most practiced pacifist lies the dormant cognitive desires to fight and kill. At times we can't control ourselves. What should be our guiding star? Conscience varies from person to person and the laws of social convention are only observed out of fear of repercussion, rather than a desire to achieve moral enlightenment and equality.

Its a confusing thing being human. Confliction is overpowering. Our desires are fueled by constantly fluctuating and delicate chemical balance.

Whats perhaps most frightening about human violence is what happens when it is used in conjunction with social conformity as revealed by Stanley Milgram. "In the 1960s, Stanley Milgram conducted one of the most important experiments ever done in the field of human psychology and social conformity." (1) In the experiments 65% of the participants agreed to administer up to fatal shocks to test subjects (learner), despite the learner's urges and frequent attempts to cease the 'experiment'.

The reason for this was a authority figure who over shadowed the shock administrator (teacher) and instructed them to continue the experiment. BBC Horizon recently repeated a similar experiment in conjunction with psychologists and received similar results.







Notes:
The most difficult thing for man to do is love unconditionally.

It defies millions of years of evolutionary traits and survival instinct. Our predisposition to violence is hard wired into our brain, yet social conventions inhibit our violent instincts. We are in a constant struggle between our primitive survivalist nature and an enlightened, reasoning intellect. Only true dreamers, visionaries and heroes know the sacrifice necessary to love, but all of us have incredible potential.


========



In this piece I wanted to explore the duality of man. On one hand we know there is more to this world than just our physical selves. Every day we experience intangible, abstract thoughts and emotions. In contrast to this we are also confronted by our primitive, animalistic selves. The side of man that kills, rapes, steals and survives against everything evolution has thrown our way since the Australopithecus.
We are torn and divided. Societal conventions restrict our innermost and base instincts. We don't fuck everything that moves, don't kill every rival, nor do we destroy everything, but we certainly have our moments when we can't consider ourselves men, but animals. When the chips are down the average person is a wild beast cornered by hunters and rules don't apply when survival is on the line.





================
BBC Horizon - How Violent Are You

Our aggression spans the globe
We are appauled and fascinated by violence


What makes people violent?
-Primitive Survival Instinct???
-Self Preservation mechanism
-Natural tendencies towards violence are suppresed by social conventions
-Aggression hard wired into us
-Nucleus accumbens--- releases dopamine when fighting
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nucleus_accumbens

Violence Addiction? ---> Criminal?

Riots, Frenzy, etc.
Hooliganism

OTHER SOURCE:
(Hooligans, 2005)
Slow Motion - Third eye blind


SOMETHING STOPPED MOST OF US FROM BEING VIOLENT...

What??

EXPERIMENT
3 yr olds with scooter

No inbitions. Until age 3 no stopping urges from emotional center of brain until development of pre-frontal cortex (control aggression)

The experiences of an individual can have tremendous impact on the development and effectiveness of these inhibitions.

Children from violent bgrounds have a predisposition towards violence....?
Downward spiral of mankind is violence. Vicious circle of cause and effect. If you are treated poorly by another person you have a natural predisposition of hostility, skepticism and doubt of others. Fool me oncem shame on you fool me twice shame on me....


The most dangerous opponent impeding the development of society today is ourselves.

IMMINENT SELF DESTRUCTION OF MANKIND
(Sketchbook)



"Incredibly being taught to share and take turns actually changes the physical structure of the brain. It strengthens the connections between the pre-frontal cortex and the emotional center. This is what makes us less aggressive."

Children as young as 2 are most frequently aggressive.



Prefrontal cortex susceptible to injuries which involve sudden, rapid deceleration. (car wreck)


Also: Depression Drugs Alcohol and Aging all impact the violence responses controlled by our brains and chemicals etc.




Interpretation of facial expressions

Lack of Sleep also impacts aggression

EXPERIMENT
aggression resp test with color and words and facial recognition
test found him average hostility

Virtual 3mo old babies to deprive sleep for 60 hours

Bombsrding him with stimuli while tired impact aggression response
(New job as junior chef ontop of virtual twins for stimuli and sleep deprive)

waking dreams as symptom..at 50 hours

placebo of reprogramming babies to cry more often. in reality they werent but he assumes this and is upset about it at the experimenters who he calls "jailers etc"

displacing of aggression suggestive of hostility buildup

after 60 hours agrression response test run again
word color responses were slower
facial recognition subconciously recognizes normal faces as aggressive and is predisposed to hostility


"Our sense of self is incredible fragile"

Crimes of passion.... caught offguard and crack

joy of revenge

CONTROVERSIAL EXPERIMENT
MILGRIM EXPERIEMNT

----
normal citizen given electirc shock for science
volunteers meet actors who they think are a proffessor and another

memory test with electric shock

one is teacher and on learner
fixed lotto ticket for learver role

strapped into chair

teacher next door
15-450VOLT range

teacher given 45 v shock to think its real generator

word pair memory

professor keeps telling them to go on and shock


reponses are on prerecorded cd

participant deppers to professor and they givre responsibility over to the autority figure

"The prompts drive him back to the task"

The idea that science is being conducted for the greater good.
9 of 12 went to 450v Lethal level

over 65% went to 450 v in millgrims experiment

immediately afterwards they hear the true nature of experiemnt


participants were under stress but argued that authority was real responsible party
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milgram_experiment


violence is innate. present in our minds controlled by learned social conventions but spurred on by our need to survive and a chemical reward system (dopamine)

https://docs.google.com/fileview?id=0B5uDdx1Ld0ORZGNlMDI4NzMtMDdkZC00YzU3LWEzNTEtNWQxNzQ2ZGFmZWMx&hl=en

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/199403/violence-has-home-address






3 [Photo-Op]:
No pic yet

4 [Something I learned]:
Several shortcuts in illustrator....
Various bits and pieces of CSS
Desginy stuff with illustrator.

5 [Learning Link of the Day]:
I learned nothing, but it was interesting-
Geekologie

Glossy Vector Icons Are Epic-
RSS Icon Tutorial
Tongue Icon

Really Cool Thing I want to try...
Flashlight Light Tricks


6 [Things I did for Others]:
nada yet
promise keeping
helped dad make a fire
helped out with the dogs
fixed mom's watch

7 [Things I did for Myself]:
Looked at NOLS magazine (Thx Alicia)
Researched Milgrims Experiments, Nazi Germany, Islamic radicalism and Human Aggression/Violence.
Made about me page
Made progress on my website

01.06.2010. Day 2:

1 [Artwork of the Day]:
Working on some epic site design for this project. So exciting.
Seriously I want to get it running tonight if I can.

(Doubt it, way too much coding to do still.)
Have the whole thing laid out. now its plugging in the content and constructing the form from the gfx i've made.

Im going to take each daily post and have it be its own tiny html pop out page clickable via a calendar. Anyways. Screenshots are my art today:









2 [Thoughts and Reflections]:
Current Status.... tired and over caffeinated. I couldn't sleep last night after writing a momentous posting about my ultimate goals for humanity. To bad I'm not actually in charge of the world. I'd prolly fuck it up somehow, but thank goodness there are nobler and more enlightened minds than mine.

Also felt very overwhelmed with jobs and whatnot working part time for cuz, school, <3's, and myself..... To many projects not enough time. 3 [Photo-Op]: Took a pic of the sunset right when I got out of work. 1st time its not been pitch black when I got out. Thank god for spring. 4 [Something I learned]: Crows Ravens and Jays are among the smartest birds, with the largest brain size to body ratio in the avian family. I read 2 chapters of a book today entitled Natural Acts at 1 am cuz sleep is something that evades me constantly.... unhealthy. 8 hours of work in a crappy office chair is murder on my back. I need to do something about that and possibly get glasses that prevent my eyes from being destroyed by the LCDs i stare at 4-12 hrs everyday.... ouch. googling that now so that i can learn something today. What do you know they have it and also monitors that are healthier for your eyes. huh cool. I also learned that mosquitoes while annoying are the number one way to prevent humans from mulching the rainforests.

5 [Learning Link of the Day]: Vector Portraits

6 [Things I did for Others]:
Gave Mandy a bath for mom. That dog was stinky.
Continued to keep the promise.
Am going into work tomorrow and possibly friday to help out

7 [Things I did for Myself]:
This.
Tried to teach myself some CSS. Didnt go that well. Google is not the best teacher but it is the most available one.

Worked out a bit
GFX for my site.
Am going into work tomorrow and possibly friday to help out... Im getting paid :-P

Final Note:
Im exhausted. more thoughts tomorrow.

So here's the plan...

In tribute to the new year and all... Yes I'm a bit late; I was sick and dysfunctional and mostly asleep since 2010 rolled in... I've decided to actually keep track of how my resolution develops.

My brother suggested I make one piece of art a day and a friend said you should always do something for yourself and I thought you should always do something for another person.

Then while I was sick and out of it I had a number of stellar ideas, as is the case when you have nothing to do but lie around and think and sleep and think some more...

I saw Invictus and Mr. Morgan Freeman had an excellent line where he said you have to do more than is expected of you by anyone especially yourself. You need to attempt to acheive the impossible etc etc.... I'll try and get the actual lines...

So I want to strive to do more. See and hear more and process more of life. I want to understand it all. problem is I almost always forget things so I need a method of keeping track of it. Here it is.. Blogging. So stereotypical I know but If it works... well who knows what will happen, the future's always a mystery. Anyways here goes.

I want to record what I do everyday, my thoughts and reflections, a piece of art or darwing as well as a photo of something i found amusig ironic or inriguing (and why) as well as somethig i did for someone else and something i did for myself and finally something i learned (i had in mind a tutorial, shortcut or something to do with software [PS, ILL or some other pertinant thing] but I'm open to interpretation.)

Hopefully this can develop into a more sensible senior thesis than what i have so far which is essentially a hodge podge of half formulated and extensively over elaborate thoughts and ideas which i am sure are rife with loopholes and misinterpreations, not to mention misspellings


So...

1 [Artwork of the Day]:
Mr. Yeti.
I had to make a Yeti for <3strings Tshirt and I decided to make my own version seeing as how theirs is a bit on the childish side. I mean thats what they're aiming for but this Yeti-Boarder is a bit more my speed.

2 [Thoughts and Reflections]:
Also I've been so confused by all the thought turbulence over the last 6 months going from graffiti to tangibility to perspective, change and the whole nature of understanding the infinitely complex and un-understandable universe that its nice to zone out to an ipod and just mindlessly create something.

More thoughts... I don't know where this is going. I think since I started with the whole graffiti thing I really just didnt have a way to keep track of my thought process. I started expanding out and out trying to understand the big picture. Problem is the big picture is too big for one mind. I have a destination in mind (world peace and expansion to and terraform mars and the many moons from there with our united human coalition we'd be much better off harvesting solar power and asteroids raw material than ignorantly squabbling down here over pitiful fossile fuels and land... I mean look at how big the fucking universe is and than try and argue over population... we're just underallocating imo) only problem is the hurdles between being a 21 year old undergrad with limited resources, knowledge and social skills. First things first. major hurdle. Figure it all out, get the word out and hope for some kind of unification be sparked in my lifetime. We've got (as human beings) a pent up wrath, savagery brought on us by evolution (or god, or both imo) but so what?? Just take all the damn guns we've got on planet earth and point them at the stars cuz how do you know E.T. isn't hostile? Once we've proved that than I say we can continue to mindlessly blown each othet up. So... lets get a move on. One Human Race. One Human Team. We are sitting ducks running out of fuel (sun) and time (??:?? what if anything cataclysmic happens before we kill each other all off over stupidity like religion or temporary resources) We're being to narrow minded. Take your perspective. Multiply it by 6.whatever billion. Thats humanity. All that hive of mental activity. Its chaotic. We just need to calm down a bit, stop being at each others throats and have each others back because we could potentially be assaulted omnidirectionally by alien raiders at any second. Thank god we aren't, yes. BUT take preemptive action to ensure it remains that way. C'mon.... Teamwork in small groups helped the cavemen survive the ages. Slightly larger groups saw us through til the dark ages and larger still made us countries and nations and now bickering alliances. When are we going to fully understand strength lies in unity? Each gene pool has strengths and weaknesses. USE that. put the people with the big brains in R&D and the brawn on the exploration and defense colonization. Use the tools (read humans) you have in the places they need to be.

Heres the problem we face... Maniplulation of the weak by the strong not for the gain of all mankind but for selfish personal gain....

In short greedy greedy power hungry bitches. They're holding the reigns and not willing (or able?) to let go...

I rest my case. Goodnight.

3 [Photo-Op]:
I took a picture but its a pain to get it off the camera right now because I don't have my card reader. I'll come back and edit all this junk eventually cuz I know I have a horrible misspelling problemo... Anyways it was a box at work with some epicly-out-of-date software package that had clip art. On the box it says: "Make a powerful impression with the worlds best clipart." I lol'd cuz clipart imo doesn't make a good impression. It comes across as "I'm to lazy, don't care, or am not creative enough to do anything myself so here's some crappy pixelated image I googled and threw in, kthxbai."
If im ever sent clip art and its not a joke I will send you a clipart I just made myself:


Yeah thats right I MADE it. Nah, I just stole it from here
BUT I took the effort to edit it with GIMP (which I've never used before) on a laptop track pad so bite me.


Also I'm tired and still only halfway through my meds til I'm fully healed. So bite me harder.

K moving on...


4 [Something I learned]:
I learned how to make fur in illustrator using this tutorial:
5 [Learning Link of the Day]:
Furry Vector Monster

6 [Things I did for Others]:
Stayed late at work to help out someone with a project
Dishes for mom
On the way home I pulled into my neighborhood and saw a trashcan blown out by the horrific Janruary wind so I slammed on the brakes (I exaggerate) turned on my hazards and put it back. Chances are it got blown over again, but it might have helped.

7 [Things I did for Myself]
Started this crazy blog thing
Worked out
Setup WiiFit
Became addicted to WiiFit
Cleaned up my room (I define clean in this scenario)
IMed/Called a few friends and kept in touch
Returned a call for my summer job possibility
Took steps to help myself keep a silly promise to a friend. I believe the saying is its the thought that counts.
Wrote a ton on here; Publish and going to sleep early-ish...
After a movie or documentary or some book or something......


Zzzzzzzzzzzz....

Final Note:
The Goal of this project...
I realize with all the crazy tangential learning I go through nothing I do may make sense. Its all ridiculous you might say wheres the rhyme or reason..... does there need to be any? or can you just not hear my tune yet.
... but here it is in a simple phrase as concise as I can make it.


I want to make change in the world. I want a better tomorrow. I can and will achieve this via the only means available to me, from the only vantage point I have. I will shape the world through personal action and evaluate my achievements by the only standards that matter to me: my own.

There are time when great change is needed in the world. I have no idea if this is that time nor will I ever, but I can still strive to be the spark. I want to end the cataclysmic self perpetuating cycle of human greed which (I believe) will ultimately lead to our self-mutilation, demise and decay. We can surpass this greed through personal action and the mutual respect of others.

The first step is to open your mind to the possibility. Hope. Belief.

The second is to understand and accept others as the beings who are as complex and ever-changing as youself. (This is the hard part)

The third is to work with those other people to acheive some goal with cooperation, love, care and respect for one another both physically and metaphysically.


My god now my brain really hurts. Too much thinking.... Bad posture too. Sitting in the damn wooden chair with no form and my spine hates me now. Goodnight everyone.

[Will EDIT for spelling grammar and to add photos later]